Sometimes I want to die quickly and go home to God. Because I am tired of this endless life. And as if it never stops just showing beauty but on the other hand humans will always be trapped in their immorality as if unaware that they will die. Competing in disobedience as if they will live forever and always doing. They do not realize that there is a next life waiting for him after life in the real world. They think that there is no problem in committing sins and mistakes as if no one is watching, even though angels are watching every day and recording their actions. The thing why I want to die because I'm tired and bored with death might make me happy. I want to meet God. God made me. I want to feel what it means to go home. I know my parents or my lover will be sad if I leave them, but it doesn't mean that this world is only temporary, sometimes I ask why God doesn't immediately speed up the apocalypse because this world is getting damaged every day. That's why God always sends disaster after disaster so that people are aware, but that doesn't make them immediately aware, maybe if the shroud has been wrapped around and wrapping their bodies right away, they realize that their lives are useless because they only commit disobedience every day without feeling guilty to their god. And they forget it is not God who needs their worship but those who need God. Allah only created this world so that people are aware and happy then Allah will punish them when they are no longer in the world
To you my beloved if I am no longer in the world I ask that you can be happy always and do not be afraid I always tell God to look after you. Love me until I die if I'm there don't forget to meet me and we will be reunited if you can be mine don't marry someone because I will later be your wife when in heaven but if we can't have at least if you want to be with I then don't marry someone we will be together there and become one. But if you don't want to be with me, I will pray for you so that you can meet your soul mate and women who always love you for who you are as I am doing now. I never thought who you are and how you are, it's just that I love you because of God. I realize that only one can separate us, that is death. If I die, remember me as someone who was with you and don't forget me. Someone who loves you because of God. I also do not forget you and will always remember you.
God take care of him, someone named, don't separate us if he's the best man for me, if he's the best priest for me. If he can make me closer to you. I do not want to force this heart to be with him because only God can unite and predestine two hearts to be together. I'm already tired of it all god I'm tired of breaking my heart again many times. God you know if I want him but if he doesn't want me then I don't want to force him to stay. God if I have to die before I get married then bring me together with one person who can keep his eyes and heart who only sees one person in front of him.
God I'm not afraid to die I'm just afraid I will leave the person I love so fast. God sorry if I always confide in him. Because I like him but often I forget that I shouldn't like him because he is impossible for me to have but I don't know why this heart chose him. God you know if distance and all these things are so complicated for God to do if you could unite me with him maybe I would be happy because of that. God, I'm not asking for more, it's just that I want to be with him
God I don't know why I love him I shouldn't love him because he can't control himself if he is near me and I should be scared because maybe he might do something to me but why does this heart believe in him because I know that he is the same as a man other. God, you know that people who know me always say if the person who becomes my husband will be a lucky person, but why is their god that I consider to be a lover never thanking or not feeling lucky to meet and be their girlfriend, why do they glance or look at women different and always want to find out more then for what god they want me to return to their lives if by having me it does not make them not to betray me or look at other women. This God is not all
When this heart wants to be alone and feels love only betrayed even though I betrayed him first whether he wanted to make me jealous or make me hurt. God this heart and chest is not able to feel it all better I just die God so I do not need to think about the meaning of love and how to feel love. God is there not just one man who loves me sincerely like I like them I've changed for the better whether there really isn't true love for me even though I hoped about him but as if it was useless if he just didn't want to stay with me. God if he is the best then show me the way whether he deserves to accompany my life or not. Because I only want a man who marries only one woman and I will marry for one man.
